Wishful Perceiving: How Values are Connected to How we See Others

What is it about?

Though we greatly care about our friends, family members and romantic partners, we are often mistaken when trying to accurately perceive them. We show that one reason for this inaccuracy is a bias based on our own values. Values constitute what people think is important, what they believe in, and what they want to achieve (e.g. being kind, following tradition or being successful). We asked people about their values and the values or behavior of a close other, and we also asked the other person about their real values or behavior. We found that people tend to assume their close others believe in values similar to their own and behave in ways which correspond with these values, even when they don't. Our values seem to be more strongly associated with how we see others when we have a better relationship with them.

Featured Image

Photo by Aleksandar Andreev on Unsplash

Photo by Aleksandar Andreev on Unsplash

Why is it important?

Our findings can help understand how people misperceive and idealize one another, and when they are more likely to do so. Idealizing can sometimes help our relationships, but it can also foster misunderstanding and false expectations. Understanding the role values play in these misperceptions can help anticipate, understand, and correct them, and hopefully help people better understand one another.