What is it about?

This is an interview with a gay man who has had many sexual encounters with men and wants to settle down with a man. But one big problem! In Sri Lanka he would not be accepted and he would be mocked and jeered at for simply following his natural love of men. He loves sex with men. He wants to settle down and have a family with a man. His culture states it is good to be a family and have a life partner. He wants his friend but instead he is forced into marrying a woman. The woman does not know about him and so she is entering into a marriage without knowing the full facts

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Why is it important?

Women have the right to marry a man who can do the deed of loving her fully as she is. Marrying a gay guy is selling her a broken product. He will not love her fully as she deserves and so she will struggle in her marriage. Its highly likely that he will see men privately because in Sri Lanka most men having sex with other men are already married. Discretion is assured and so the deception continues. The mental health of the woman is at stake here as well as for Dillion. Not allowing LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender) persons to marry is a huge mistake. Depression, anxiety and paranoia plague individuals who are marginalised in society.

Perspectives

As I interviewed Dillion it was interesting how he was able to fully believe his ability to fall in love with a woman was and is possible. Slightly deluding himself in order to fulfil the deed. He has a lot of pressure to Marry because he is the first born and comes from a high status family but as the interviews proceeds you can here on the tape his real regret to not marry a man. He makes a pledge to himself that if his son is gay that he will allow him to marry whom ever he wants with his complete blessing. There is a sadness at the end as Dillion thanks me for the time to share his views with me.

Matt Broadway-Horner
University of Bolton

Read the Original

This page is a summary of: A case study about a gay man who wants to follow his Sri Lankan culture and dedicate his life to a person – a man, International Journal of Culture and Mental Health, May 2017, Taylor & Francis,
DOI: 10.1080/17542863.2017.1327548.
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