Why Do Men Prefer Nice Women?

What is it about?

Sexual desire thrives on rising intimacy and being responsive is one of the best ways to instill this elusive sensation over time. Indeed, people (both men and women) often say that they are looking for a lover who is "responsive to their needs" and that such a partner may arouse their sexual interest. Our findings show that this does not necessarily hold true in an initial encounter, because a responsive potential partner may convey opposite meanings to different people (e.g., a warm and caring and therefore a desirable long-term partner vs. a manipulative person with doubtful relational intentions and therefore an undesirable partner). Women, for example, may interpret responsiveness negatively and feel uncomfortable about a new acquaintance who seems to want to be close. Such feelings may impair sexual attraction to this responsive stranger. We still do not know WHY women are less sexually attracted to responsive strangers; it may not necessarily have to do with "being nice" per se. Women may perceive a responsive stranger as less desirable for different reasons. For example, they may perceive this person as inappropriately nice and manipulative (i.e., trying to obtain sexual favors) or as eager to please, and perhaps even as desperate, and therefore as less sexually appealing. Alternatively, women may perceive a responsive man as vulnerable and less dominant. Regardless of the reasons, perhaps men should slow down, if their goal is to instill sexual desire.

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