"I want to get some bad-ass tattoos", and other reasons suicidal adolescents want to live

What is it about?

In this new study, we asked adolescents who had been hospitalized for suicidal thoughts or behaviors to name their three strongest reasons for staying alive. Their answers, gathered during safety planning, offer a rare and unfiltered glimpse into the motivations that keep young people going, even at their lowest point. Our goal was to identify common themes and better understand unique experiences. The single most common word in the dataset was “my”. That may sound insignificant, but it reflects a sense of belonging, which research shows is one of the strongest protective factors against suicide. Regarding the use of nouns, three themes stood out. First, their relationships. Family (especially moms and younger siblings), friends, and pets featured most often. Second, future hopes. Teens mentioned careers, dreams of travel, or simply a curiosity “to see what the future holds.” Thirds, possessions and independence. They talked about getting a car, moving out, owning a house or even just “doing my own makeup.” Among the most common verbs were action words like “want”, “be” and “see” – forward-looking and full of intention. Adolescents spoke of wanting to grow up, travel, become someone (“a welder” or “professional wrestler”, for example) and finding happiness. Even in distress, their language carried movement, desire and a drive toward the future. Adjectives added emotional color. Words such as “happy”, “good”, “okay”, and “better” reflected modest, grounded hopes for relief, while “own” suggested control and self-expression: “my own space,” “my own style,” “my own life.” And within the dataset, the responses were highly individual. Some were deeply emotional: “I saw how my dad cried, and I don’t want him to cry like that again,” or “To not make my mom sad.” Others were more specific: “I want to read 100 books this year,” or “I want to get some bad-ass tattoos.” One patient put it simply: “YOLO” (you only live once).

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Photo by Akhil Nath on Unsplash

Photo by Akhil Nath on Unsplash

Why is it important?

Suicide is the third leading cause of death among 15–29-year-olds worldwide. Much of the research and media coverage still focuses on why teens might want to die. Far less often do we ask the opposite, equally urgent question: what makes life worth holding on to? In our study, 97% of adolescents were able to identify three reasons for living, despite the emotional turmoil that had brought them to the hospital. This suggests that even in crisis, many young people retain a desire to live if they can anchor themselves to something – or someone – that matters. These findings carry clear clinical implications. Someone’s reasons for living shouldn’t be treated as just another box on a checklist. They can be a springboard for conversation and healing. When a teen says, “I want to be a vet,” or “I want to take care of my little sister,” it opens the door to meaningful, personalized treatment. Helping adolescents articulate their reasons for living can build rapport, clarify therapy goals, and enhance motivation. It can also be used to challenge unhelpful thoughts – like “I’m a burden” or “No one cares” – with concrete, self-generated evidence to the contrary. Most importantly, reasons for living remind teens, and those who care for them, that even in amid despair they still have something to live for.

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